About Me

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I’m from New York but my driver’s license lists that my address is Ohio. My passport has a number of stamps in it. I’m the youngest of six, yet oldest son. I have a number after my initials, but not my name. I like music. I like coffee, beer and bourbon. I am a follower of Jesus. I watch bonus features on DVD’s. For four months each year my wife and I are the same age. “I pledge allegiance to a country without borders, without politicians.” I am an ordained pastor, but don't currently have a church. I’ve eaten raw horse meat. I’m fifteen inches taller than my wife, but I look up to her. I still prefer buying CDs to downloading music. I’m a night owl, who doesn’t mind getting up early. I like to play games. I moved to another country nine days after my wedding. I sometimes quote random lyrics. I believe in miracles. I prefer desktops to laptops. I like listening to audio books. I watch Buffalo Bills and Sabres games. I have five sons. I'm living life mid sentence.

Wednesday, December 03, 2025

Learning Who I Am

I’m an introvert.  Not an awkward, staring at my own shoes kind, but one nonetheless. This has surprised people over the years.  I’m talkative; often too talkative.  I don’t hate social gatherings.  Sometimes social gatherings can be energizing.  But, for me, a little goes a long way.   

This took me a long time to figure out.  In high school and during my multiple stretches in college I was often surrounded by my peers.  I spent a lot of time hanging out with friends.  Then, in my between college and post college years, I had little to no interactions with my peers.  It took me a while to figure out what I need to thrive. 

I’ve learned that social interactions are kind of like sunshine or food.  You can live without them for a while, but you won’t be healthy.  But too much of either are also bad for one’s health.  For me to thrive, I need occasional interaction but I need much less than most.   

There are exceptions.  I enjoy being around my wife and kids.  When I travel for work, I am OK, but I would prefer to be at home with them. When I am away, I sometimes add a phone call with a friend, in addition to calls to my wife and kids, but apart from that I'm usually content. 
 
For the past couple of days I’ve sat in a hotel, hundreds of miles away from home.  This wasn’t a planned stay.  So, I didn’t plan on a lot of down time. This time has confirmed what I have learned about myself.  I’m enjoying the downtime, but I would prefer to be home with my family.   
 
I have changed over the years.  I’m more comfortable in my own skin now than I was over the first 40 years of my life.  I’m more comfortable with a very small circle of friends than I was in the past.  And, who knows, maybe in the future I’ll become more extroverted.  That would be OK as well.  It takes time and energy to learn who you are.  And it took me decades to be ok slowing down to learn who I am.  And most days, I like myself.