About Me

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I’m from New York but my driver’s license lists that my address is Ohio. My passport has a number of stamps in it. I’m the youngest of six, yet oldest son. I have a number after my initials, but not my name. I like music. I drink coffee at all times of the day. I am a follower of Jesus. I own my own business. I watch bonus features on DVD’s. For four months each year my wife and I are the same age. “I pledge allegiance to a country without borders, without politicians.” I am an ordained pastor. I’ve eaten raw horse meat. I’m fifteen inches taller than my wife, but I look up to her. I still prefer buying CDs to downloading music. I’m a night owl, who doesn’t mind getting up early. I like to shop, and my wife doesn’t. I like to play games. I moved to another country nine days after my wedding. I sometimes quote random lyrics. I believe in miracles. I prefer desktops to laptops. I like listening to audio books. I listen to hockey games on the internet. I have five sons. I'm living life mid sentence.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

I really need a hug. Not one of those 3 second hugs you give a friend from time to time but one that says "you don't have to say anything, I undestand what you are going through" types. But I don't know people anymore whom I can go to as such times. So, I'll take this on all by myself.
Life is often filled with apparent injustices. Such as why do individuals who cause emotional pain usually have no problem moving on, while those they've hurt cannot? This is something that I know I am not alone in feeling. But yet the knowledge that others feel this same pain doesn't seem to provide any comfort at the present. Time heals all wounds I know. Yet still, while I wait for healing to come, I wonder why she moves on with ease after she trampled the feelings and emotions of those she confessed her love for. I want to forgive her, and I know that forgiveness is a conscientious decision, yet no matter how many times I say with my words that I forgive her--my heart still wields the pain that comes with betrayal.

Monday, February 13, 2006

I Lied

While the words "I'm so happy for you" escape my lips, my heart feels as if a daggar has been plunged deep into it. I should be happy for you. I think you would be for me. But instead of truly being happy for you, I wonder why things just happened to fall into place for you so quickly when you were the one that brought so much pain into my life. You couldn't let go of your past relationship when I was in the picture, but it seems that overnight all that changed when the next guy came along. Now you've left me as the one who can't seem to let go. I wonder if this guy will be just another moth caught in your web of lies and deception? Will he be another check mark on your adventure list when you look back and recap your life? Does he know what he's getting into? No matter what, I hope you will give this new guy all the things you didn't give me: a fair chance, honesty, and more than the bullshit that you left me with.