#StandingWithOurSisters God Helps Single Moms

How many of us grew up with both of our parents living under the same roof as us?
How many of us grew up in a home that was in poverty when we were a child?

While poverty does happen in homes that include both parents, about 5 and a half percent, it is much more common in households where a single mother is raising a family.  About 23 percent of households include children living with a single mother.  And as of 2015 those households have a more than 28 percent chance of living at or below the poverty level.
(https://www.census.gov/library/publications/2016/demo/p60-256.html)..

Single parent homes are not a modern phenomenon.  The Bible talks about single parent homes, and we are shown examples of how God reaches out to help single mom’s, and hears when they cry out to Him.

The first example I want to explore is that of Hagar.

Genesis 16:1-16 (All verses taken from NASB unless otherwise noted)

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife had borne him no children, and she had an Egyptian maid whose name was Hagar. 2 So Sarai said to Abram, “Now behold, the Lord has prevented me from bearing children. Please go in to my maid; perhaps I will obtain children through her.” And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. 3 After Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Abram’s wife Sarai took Hagar the Egyptian, her maid, and gave her to her husband Abram as his wife. 4 He went in to Hagar, and she conceived; and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her sight. 5 And Sarai said to Abram, “May the wrong done me be upon you. I gave my maid into your arms, but when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her sight. May the Lord judge between you and me.” 6 But Abram said to Sarai, “Behold, your maid is in your power; do to her what is good in your sight.” So Sarai treated her harshly, and she fled from her presence.

7 Now the angel of the Lord found her by a spring of water in the wilderness, by the spring on the way to Shur. 8 He said, “Hagar, Sarai’s maid, where have you come from and where are you going?” And she said, “I am fleeing from the presence of my mistress Sarai.” 9 Then the angel of the Lord said to her, “Return to your mistress, and submit yourself to her authority.” 10 Moreover, the angel of the Lord said to her, “I will greatly multiply your descendants so that they will be too many to count.” 11 The angel of the Lord said to her further,

“Behold, you are with child, And you will bear a son; And you shall call his name Ishmael, Because the Lord has given heed to your affliction. 12 “He will be a wild donkey of a man, His hand will be against everyone, And everyone’s hand will be against him; And he will live to the east of all his brothers.”

13 Then she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, “You are a God who sees”; for she said, “Have I even remained alive here after seeing Him?” 14 Therefore the well was called Beer-lahai-roi; behold, it is between Kadesh and Bered.

15 So Hagar bore Abram a son; and Abram called the name of his son, whom Hagar bore, Ishmael. 16 Abram was eighty-six years old when Hagar bore Ishmael to him.

Hindsight is 20-20, so people say.  As I read these passages I wonder why God didn’t lay out the whole story for Abraham and Sarah from the start.  We get piece meal in Genesis 12 (vss 2, 7) God told Abraham that He would make of him a great nation, and his descendants would possess the land that God was showing him.  Some time goes by, and Abraham asks God if these things will take place since his legal heir is a foreigner.  God tells Abraham that the current heir will not be his heir, but it will be one that comes from Abraham’s body. 

So, at some point after this reaffirmation of the promise to Abraham, Sarah gets an idea.  In their culture it wa acceptable to offer up a slave as a surrogate wife to her husband, to give him the heir he has been promised.  It isn’t until after Hagar conceives that God tells Abraham that Sarah will give birth to the promised child, in Genesis 17.

As one commentary puts it, when it says Haggar became Abraham’s wife, the term wife may not mean the same thing that you and I think of when we think of the term.  This is how the commentary describes it.

 “’Wife’ is here used to describe an inferior, though not degrading, relation, in countries where polygamy prevails. In the case of these female slaves, who are the personal property of his lady, being purchased before her marriage or given as a special present to her, no one can become the husband’s secondary wife without her mistress consent or permission. This usage seems to have prevailed in patriarchal times; and Hagar, Sarai’s slave, of whom she had the entire right of disposing, was given by her mistress’ spontaneous offer, to be the secondary wife of Abram, in the hope of obtaining the long-looked-for heir.   (Jamieson, R., Fausset, A. R., & Brown, D. (1997). Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible (Vol. 1, p. 25). Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.)

So, not only had Hagar been taken from her land (Egypt), placed into service as a servant or slave, but now –with no indication of her will—she is forced to marry her owner in hopes of giving him what his wife cannot. 

Genesis 16:3-6

3 After Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Abram’s wife Sarai took Hagar the Egyptian, her maid, and gave her to her husband Abram as his wife. 4 He went in to Hagar, and she conceived; and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her sight. 5 And Sarai said to Abram, “May the wrong done me be upon you. I gave my maid into your arms, but when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her sight. May the Lord judge between you and me.” 6 But Abram said to Sarai, “Behold, your maid is in your power; do to her what is good in your sight.” So Sarai treated her harshly, and she fled from her presence.

The Bible Knowledge Commentary says that the situation “turned sour, however, after the Egyptian slave girl, Hagar, became pregnant... Both women may have wondered what would become of Abram’s seed. Would Hagar have it? Because of the conflict between the women, Sarai blamed Abram for the problem. He told her to handle it in whatever way she wished. Sarai then mistreated (‘ānâh; see comment on this word in 15:13) Hagar so that she fled (16:6). (Ross, A. P. (1985). Genesis. In J. F. Walvoord & R. B. Zuck (Eds.), The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures (Vol. 1, p. 56). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.)

Let’s look a little more at the customs of the day. 

“In the legal custom of that day a barren woman could give her maid to her husband as a wife, and the child born of that union was regarded as the first wife’s child. If the husband said to the slave-wife’s son, “You are my son,” then he was the adopted son and heir. So Sarai’s suggestion was unobjectionable according to the customs of that time.”  (Ross).

So, now that tensions are high in Abraham’s household, we see Hagar fleeing. 

Genesis 16:7-11, 13, 15-16
7 Now the angel of the Lord found her by a spring of water in the wilderness, by the spring on the way to Shur. 8 He said, “Hagar, Sarai’s maid, where have you come from and where are you going?” And she said, “I am fleeing from the presence of my mistress Sarai.” 9 Then the angel of the Lord said to her, “Return to your mistress, and submit yourself to her authority.” 10 Moreover, the angel of the Lord said to her, “I will greatly multiply your descendants so that they will be too many to count.” 11 The angel of the Lord said to her further,

“Behold, you are with child, And you will bear a son; And you shall call his name Ishmael, Because the Lord has given heed to your affliction.

…

13 Then she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, “You are a God who sees”; for she said, “Have I even remained alive here after seeing Him?”

…

15 So Hagar bore Abram a son; and Abram called the name of his son, whom Hagar bore, Ishmael. 16 Abram was eighty-six years old when Hagar bore Ishmael to him.

So, Hagar returned to Abraham and Sarah’s house and lived there for many years.  About 14 years later, Sarah gave birth to Isaac.  And after Isaac was weaned more problems arose. 

Genesis 21:9-14

9 Now Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, whom she had borne to Abraham, mocking. 10 Therefore she said to Abraham, “Drive out this maid and her son, for the son of this maid shall not be an heir with my son Isaac.” 11 The matter distressed Abraham greatly because of his son. 12 But God said to Abraham, “Do not be distressed because of the lad and your maid; whatever Sarah tells you, listen to her, for through Isaac your descendants shall be named. 13 And of the son of the maid I will make a nation also, because he is your descendant.” 14 So Abraham rose early in the morning and took bread and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar, putting them on her shoulder, and gave her the boy, and sent her away. And she departed and wandered about in the wilderness of Beersheba.

“God used this incident of Ishmael’s mocking Isaac to drive out the child Ishmael and Hagar (v. 10), for they would be a threat to the promised seed. The word “mocking” is meṣaḥēq (“laughing or jesting”), from which comes “Isaac” (yiṣḥāq). Earlier Sarah had mistreated Hagar (16:6); now Hagar’s son was mistreating Sarah’s son. Earlier Sarah caused pregnant Hagar to flee (16:6); now she caused Hagar and her 16- or 17-year-old son to flee. (Ross)

Unlike in chapter 16, where Abraham seemed dismissive towards Ishmael, now it distressed him when Sarah was treating the boy and his mother harshly.  But God told Abraham not to be distressed, but to follow the advice of Sarah and send Hagar and Ishmael away.  So, Abraham did just that.

As we saw earlier, God met Hagar in her distress when she was pregnant, and now that they are out on their own, God will meet her again.

Genesis 21:15-16

15 When the water in the skin was used up, she left the boy under one of the bushes. 16 Then she went and sat down opposite him, about a bowshot away, for she said, “Do not let me see the boy die.” And she sat opposite him, and lifted up her voice and wept.

Can you imagine the feeling?  Let’s recap for a minute.  Hagar was an Egyptian.  We aren’t told how, but she wound up being a servant or slave and having to leave her homeland.  When her mistress is unable to conceive, she is forced to marry her master, and she conceives.  When her mistress sees that she is pregnant, she begins to treat her harshly—with the consent of her master and husband.  To escape the harsh treatment she runs away.  The angel of the Lord comes to her, and tells her to return to Abraham and Sarah’s house, also telling her that her descendants will be “too many to count” (16:10).  She returns and her son is born.  But when her son is 13, her mistress gives birth to a son.  At some point after that, the problems arise again.  Now, she is sent off by her husband and master to basically fend for herself and for her son.  And, when the water is gone, alone they sit in the desert as she pleads with God to not make her watch her only son die.  Once again, God reached out to Hagar.

Genesis 21:17-21

17 God heard the lad crying; and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, “What is the matter with you, Hagar? Do not fear, for God has heard the voice of the lad where he is. 18 Arise, lift up the lad, and hold him by the hand, for I will make a great nation of him.” 19 Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water; and she went and filled the skin with water and gave the lad a drink.

20 God was with the lad, and he grew; and he lived in the wilderness and became an archer. 21 He lived in the wilderness of Paran, and his mother took a wife for him from the land of Egypt.

God heard their cries, and He provided for this single mom and her son.

The story of Hagar isn’t the only case in which we see God reaching out to a single mom.  We see another case in I Kings of a single mom who is fearful that she will have to watch her son die of hunger or thirst. 

Wickedness was being practiced in Israel, and God used the prophet Elijah to warn about the wickedness.  Elijah went to the king and warned him that as a result of the wickedness, there would be no rain or dew in the land until Elijah gave the word for it to do so again.  But the effects of the drought was felt not only by the wicked, but by Elijah and all others as well. 

We pick up the story in I Kings 17:8

8 Then the word of the Lord came to him, saying, 9 “Arise, go to Zarephath, which belongs to Sidon, and stay there; behold, I have commanded a widow there to provide for you.” 10 So he arose and went to Zarephath, and when he came to the gate of the city, behold, a widow was there gathering sticks; and he called to her and said, “Please get me a little water in a jar, that I may drink.” 11 As she was going to get it, he called to her and said, “Please bring me a piece of bread in your hand.” 12 But she said, “As the Lord your God lives, I have no bread, only a handful of flour in the bowl and a little oil in the jar; and behold, I am gathering a few sticks that I may go in and prepare for me and my son, that we may eat it and die.” 13 Then Elijah said to her, “Do not fear; go, do as you have said, but make me a little bread cake from it first and bring it out to me, and afterward you may make one for yourself and for your son. 14 For thus says the Lord God of Israel, ‘The bowl of flour shall not be exhausted, nor shall the jar of oil be empty, until the day that the Lord sends rain on the face of the earth.’” 15 So she went and did according to the word of Elijah, and she and he and her household ate for many days. 16 The bowl of flour was not exhausted nor did the jar of oil become empty, according to the word of the Lord which He spoke through Elijah.

It’s possible that this mom was being overly dramatic when she explains that she planned to make a cake for her and her son and then they would die.  However, it is also possible that it was the truth.  In a land with no rain and no dew, plants don’t grow.  And when plants don’t grow, food becomes scarce. 
Yet, when given the opportunity to serve others, the widow did so and God provided for her and her son. 

I believe the Bible shows us that God has a special place in His heart for those who have been discarded by others, or who find themselves as orphans and widows.  You can often tell what is important to someone by how much they talk about something.  So, if we see a topic mentioned over and over again in the Bible, it likely means that it is something God believes is important. 

Here are just a few of the verses about orphans and widows.
Exodus 22:21-24

21 “You shall not wrong a stranger or oppress him, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt. 22 You shall not afflict any widow or orphan. 23 If you afflict him at all, and if he does cry out to Me, I will surely hear his cry; 24 and My anger will be kindled, and I will kill you with the sword, and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless.

Deuteronomy 27:19

‘Cursed is he who distorts the justice due an alien, orphan, and widow.’

Zechariah 7:8-10

Then the word of the Lord came to Zechariah saying, 9 “Thus has the Lord of hosts said, ‘Dispense true justice and practice kindness and compassion each to his brother; 10 and do not oppress the widow or the orphan, the stranger or the poor; and do not devise evil in your hearts against one another.’

Psalm 146:9

The Lord protects the strangers; He supports the fatherless and the widow,

But He thwarts the way of the wicked.

Psalm 82:1-3

God takes His stand in His own congregation; He judges in the midst of the rulers. 2 How long will you judge unjustly And show partiality to the wicked? Selah. 3 Vindicate the weak and fatherless; Do justice to the afflicted and destitute.

Psalm 68:5 (ESV)
Father of the fatherless and protector of widows  is God in his holy habitation.

Psalm 10:16-18

The Lord is King forever and ever; Nations have perished from His land. 17 O Lord, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will strengthen their heart, You will incline Your ear 18 To vindicate the orphan and the oppressed, So that man who is of the earth will no longer cause terror.

James 1:27

Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.

Isaiah 1:16-17

“Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; Remove the evil of your deeds from My sight. Cease to do evil, 17 Learn to do good; Seek justice, Reprove the ruthless, Defend the orphan, Plead for the widow.

God hears the cries of the widows and the fatherless.  And He calls on us to heed those cries as well.  If we truly believe that all humans are created in the image of God, then when we dismiss the plight of someone—maybe because we do not feel they are deserving of help because of their own actions—we are doing that to Jesus Himself.  That’s not my idea, but rather it was what Jesus said.

In Matthew 25:34-46 Jesus said one day all nations will gather before Him and He will judge them

34 “Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35 For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; 36 naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? 38 And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 39 When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ 40 The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’

41 “Then He will also say to those on His left, ‘Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; 42 for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; 43 I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.’ 44 Then they themselves also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?’ 45 Then He will answer them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’ 46 These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

When we treat others the way we would seek to treat Jesus, then whether it is a slave girl discarded by her husband and master to fend for herself and her son, or a widow without food or water for her child, we can be the hands and feet of Jesus towards the “least of these.”  And when we treat them the way they should be treated, as those made in the image of God, then It is as if we do it to Jesus. 

How are we treating single moms?  When they cry out, are we willing to listen to their cries the way that God does?  Are we willing to be the hands and feet of God to some of the “least of these” who live next door, or down the street?  If not, what does that say about us?