About Me

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I’m from New York but my driver’s license lists that my address is Ohio. My passport has a number of stamps in it. I’m the youngest of six, yet oldest son. I have a number after my initials, but not my name. I like music. I drink coffee at all times of the day. I am a follower of Jesus. I own my own business. I watch bonus features on DVD’s. For four months each year my wife and I are the same age. “I pledge allegiance to a country without borders, without politicians.” I am an ordained pastor. I’ve eaten raw horse meat. I’m fifteen inches taller than my wife, but I look up to her. I still prefer buying CDs to downloading music. I’m a night owl, who doesn’t mind getting up early. I like to shop, and my wife doesn’t. I like to play games. I moved to another country nine days after my wedding. I sometimes quote random lyrics. I believe in miracles. I prefer desktops to laptops. I like listening to audio books. I listen to hockey games on the internet. I have five sons. I'm living life mid sentence.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Different Dreams

When life’s blessings would pile up
When disappointments would get me down
At the times I needed someone to talk to
I would call her, but she would call someone else

The more she began to open up
The reasons became clearer to see
How easy it was to be smitten
And I fell for her, but she fell for someone else

I told myself not to let it happen
It all was too good to be true
But by that time it’d hit me
I was in love with her, while she was in love with someone else

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Time Stands Still

I’m amazed at how the past seven years of my life have flown by, and yet the last seven days seem to have taken an eternity to pass. At the times when I look to time to help me move beyond the confusion, frustrations, and uncertainty that such periods can bring about, the hands of time slow to a virtual crawl. Not only is time turning out to be an adversary, so is sleep. When rest and escape are needed the most both find glee in remaining elusive. Part of the problem I’m currently experiencing is I’m not sure what resolution I’m looking for. Do I want all of this to simply go away or do I want another page of the saga to be written with a more congenial ending? The more I ponder on these thoughts the more I question if my difficulties are real or if they only exist in the confines of my mind. Time, I assume, will provide me with an answer. That is if time ever picks up its pace.

Is There No Rest For The Weary???

One week with little to no sleep is definately catching up to me. How much longer can this continue before I start to go crazy? Physically I'm exhausted, but my brain refuses to shut down and as a result I toss and turn and when sleep finally does arive it is shortly interupted by my brain starting back up. Is there no rest for the weary? Won't my thoughts take some time to relax? Time and time again I've prayed that I'll be given a break from my own thoughts, but no matter how hard I try to distract myself I cannot excape them. My appetite is gone. I have no desire to listen to music. Even movies and books cannot keep my attention. Three hours into my ten hour work shift last night my eyes were already blood shot due to my exhaustion, but even if I could have layed my head down to sleep at that time I wouldn't have been able to. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. God......Help!

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Learning to Let The Artist Take Control

Today is a new day that God has given me. Yesterday's problems, worries and fears are put aside and a blank piece of canvas is laid out before me. What will this new work of art turn out to be? I do not know, but I trust the artist to not to disappoint. One of the difficulties with working with this Artist, however, is the picture that He and I have in mind usually are not the same. But I have to lean on the understanding that He is the master and I am a mere servant. While He spews out paintings that dwarf the works of Picasso, Van Gogh and Da Vinci, I remain in the corner with crayons drawing stick figures. Nonetheless, giving up control to Him, and taking my hand off of the paint brush is not easy, yet for the work to turn out as He imagines, I must do just that. As I loosen my grip on the paint brush, I begin a free-fall into His loving embrace.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

What Have I Become?

The funniest thing happened to me the other day. I was sitting at work when I glance over to the TV I noticed an infomercial for a CD set of the greatest music from the 90’s. As the song titles scrolled up the screen I found myself saying aloud, “I remember when that song first came out” and “can you believe that was popular when I was a freshman in high school?” when all of a sudden it hit me. I’ve become one of them. You know who they are. They are the men walking through the grocery store proudly sporting their tattered KISS t-shirt and their motorcycle boots. They are the ones with the hair cuts that went out of style circa 1987 but don’t seem to care that they let their subscription to GQ expire. They still use the same pickup lines that they used twenty years ago and wonder why they don’t give them the desired results. I can only assume that they woke up one morning and stopped listening to any music that hit the airwaves after that moment. And now, I have joined their ranks I guess this means I know what I must do. I need to go out and buy six of every piece of clothing that currently hangs in my closet so that I will always be prepared. I need to cancel my membership to the music club and change my CD player from shuffle to repeat. While I’m at it I should probably go and buy a few extra CD players so when the “next big thing” hits the stores I won’t have to worry about not being able to listen to my good ol’ tunes. In ten years when you run into me at the store I’m sure you’ll still recognize me. No, I won’t be wearing a KISS t-shirt but rather the faded Gap polo. You’ll recognize my pickup lines because they’ll be the same ones that you heard when we first met. Instead of KISS you’ll hear Creed. And yes, the scent of Hugo Boss #6 that will still announce my presence.